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The 'Three-Question Rule' That Saves Relationships
In the heat of an argument or during moments of relationship tension, one simple practice can make the difference between escalation and resolution: the Three-Question Rule. This powerful technique helps couples pause, reflect, and respond thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally.
What Is the Three-Question Rule?
Before responding in any challenging relationship moment, ask yourself these three essential questions:
1. "What am I really feeling right now?"
2. "What does my partner need in this moment?"
3. "Will my next words heal or harm?"
Breaking Down Each Question
Question 1:
"What am I really feeling right now?"
This first question helps you dive beneath surface emotions to understand your true feelings:
- Look past immediate anger or frustration
- Identify underlying emotions like fear, hurt, or disappointment
- Consider whether past experiences are influencing your current reaction
- Take a moment to breathe and center yourself